Someone recently asked me what I want my life to look like. What do I want my life to feel like, taste like. How I want to walk through the world.
It’s been no secret to those around me that I’ve had a hard time settling back into life after the summer. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again- it was the most unreal summer of my entire life. It was hard, but I grew, and I learned. I had the time of my life, and now my life is how it was before with school and diving and friends but things feel different. I feel different. Things aren’t how they used to be and I’m trying to work through what’s permanent and whats not. I’m trying to figure out what I want my life to look like- not just make it look and feel like how it did before.
There’s been some personal shit going on in my world right now. I don’t mean stuff, I mean shit, because it hurts, like when you stub your toe or slam your hand in a door and you can’t help but let out a emotional “shiiiii-“. This post is about moving past that. Apologizing to those around you for swearing and getting on with your life even if your toe still hurts like a bitch.
I want my life to look and feel and taste happy. I want to love my life, every minute of it, and love it even when it’s hard and I wish things were different. I want to train hard again. I want to find my motivation to sit down and study. I want my life to be healthy, and full, without questions or doubt. I want to feel at ease. I want to travel, and do yoga, and go for runs, and write about it all.
So what do I mean by Taking Back the Blog? Basically I’ve fallen into this trap of trying to be an author that I’m not. I love this blog, and the direction that it’s gone in, and the following and the friends that I’ve made, but I’m reclaiming some of it as mine. I don’t have to be chipper all the time, I really don’t. I’m going to WRITE. I’m going to share what I’m really thinking, and really experiencing, and share every single reason why I’m in love with my life.
I’m still going to write about recipes, and meal planning, and how I make my life easier. I’m going to write about diving and travel and the things I can’t live without. I’m just going to make an effort to write more- to vent more, to share more, to not worry about a “niche” or an “audience.”
I’m creating what I want my life to look like, from the inside out. Let’s talk about it. I’m taking my own advice.