Be More

Life update: I have a day and a half left of my internship, start my new “real” job on Monday, and my tan is approximately at 7% of last years. Office life probs.

This summer has come with a lot of reflecting and looking ahead. I’ve struggled to find the “why” behind my discontent- why do I feel the need to constantly “be productive”? Not saying that this is a bad thing- I LIKE being productive and feeling busy. The issue I’m currently running into is…what am I training for? What do I have to be productive towards?

I read a blog post from one my favorites the other day, and she summed it up perfectly: “I am a do-er, not a perfectionist”. I am not one to nit pick on every single little detail, but am I am one that loves to look at the big picture. That involves creating training schedules that don’t account for stretching and foam rolling (or sleep), and always feeling AMAZING after a yoga class but never making the time to go.

My entire life I have been an athlete, and I have been fortunate enough to train hard and to travel the continent and excel in a high-performance setting. And as positive as I tried to be throughout the ordeal, breaking my foot scared the crap out of me. It’s been six months, and it still makes me angry and it still makes me sad that I didn’t get the opportunity to perform at my peak, as this season was by the far the best I have ever felt with my diving. I spent the rest of the winter doing rehab and competing on painkillers, spent all spring recovering and then training for Nationals. After a perfectly average, nothing outstanding Nationals performance, I’ve spent the whole summer working out to feel “back in shape”. I was/am convinced that my physical conditioning after the broken foot was the worst it’s been in years (which I completely understand comes with the territory of injury). I am not a dainty athlete- my strength in diving has always been my power over my technique or “rip” (entering the water without a splash). To have that taken away felt like a much bigger blow than it needed to be because that certain injury took away everything I was “good” at. I had to rely on the things I wasn’t as good at to get me through and I couldn’t stand it.

This summer, I have been getting up at 5:30am and working out before I had to go to the office, or would go straight to the gym from work if I didn’t make it before 8am. I don’t even have a meet to train for yet, as next years nationals haven’t been posted but I am assuming my next competition will be between December and February. And honestly? I am back “in-shape” at this point. I can squat, I can run, I’m doing just fine. And yet, the discontent remains. That burn is still there, lingering, from when I felt “out of shape”.

I am not training to be in shape anymore- I am training out of fear of feeling weak. It’s not always positive and it’s not always fun, and I’ve complained to my Dad about not wanting to become a cookie-cutter health blogger because I am not someone who goes to gym to do Pinterest workouts and writes running playlists (I will write about food however, 10/10 times). I want to be a force of nature. I want to be a hurricane of an athlete- strong and fierce, not weak and afraid.

I want to push myself, in every way possible. I want to surpass my standard of feeling “in shape”. I want to attempt harder dives, and lift heavier, and run further. I want to do more and be more and really see what I can do- what I’m capable of as an athlete. I am feeling that motivation to train harder, smarter, and to pay more attention to my nutrition and recovery.

Another quote from that same favorite blogger sealed the deal for me today: “You have to do decide who are to be, and just be it”. You cannot wait for Monday or next season or when you lose ten pounds to declare you are “starting”. This is life- you have already started. If you want to do something, train for something, be something, just go be it.

With that in mind, I’m on a mission. To do more and be morestay tuned.

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Injury Update!

Happy Wednesday! And it really is a happy Wednesday…hump day and all I’m in a great mood. Am I still in boot? Yup. Do Big Ten Championships still start in a week? Yup.

BUT YOU GUYS. For fracturing my foot just this past Friday, it is mind blowing how well this thing is healing. The bruising is still pretty intense- a nice navy blue strip going down the side of my foot, and the rest of my foot is various shades of purple and green. The weekend and the past few days I’ve been strict about icing every two hours, Tylenol three times a day, elevating every chance I get, and wearing a compression sock 24/7.

I’ve been using GameReady at the pool, a therapy tool where I stick my foot in a boot that fills up with ice water so it simultaneously ices and compresses. I’ve also been doing high voltage electrical stimulation, which I’ll try to explain the best I can. Basically a pad with a negative charge goes directly on the fracture site, and a pad with a positive charge is put higher up on my calf muscle. Once it’s turned on as much as you can take it, it somehow magically blasts bad things away from the bruising and swelling for your body to get rid of. Fancy, right?

Swelling

 Guess which day was today and which day was Saturday??

I’ve had a couple different tape jobs all designed to reduce the swelling, and the one today is pretty extensive. Our athletic trainer got me all wrapped up and then had me walk across the room, then slowly had me walk heel-toe across the room. I feel sore, but not in pain, when I put the weight on the ball of my foot and my toes.

Tape

Tape job from Monday- called a “basket weave”. The one I have today is the same but goes all the way up my ankle!

Overall my trainer and I, and my coach, and shaking are heads at how fast this seems to be coming together. The tentative plan as off today is to try diving again THIS Friday. Nothing serious; just some entries and fall dives and see how it holds up.

Thank you to everyone who sent messages of support and encouragement! I could not do this without all the positive vibes- it means the world to me, and helps more than you know. Go Hawks!

Motivation Monday, Injury Issue

Haaaappy Monday folks. I figured this Monday out of all the Mondays could use a little pick-me-up as I’ll likely be hobbling around the pool deck all day (wearing an ice pack and staring longingly at the diving boards).

Click here if you missed yesterdays recap.

Over the weekend I had plenty of time to peruse the internet and compiled a list via Pinterest (obvs) of quotes that helped me feel better about the recent course of events. Everyone knows I love inspirational quotes, and this situation won’t be any different. Thanks for all the positive vibes!

I don’t own these quotes nor did I make the visuals- I just found them on Pinterest

biggest step church hill crack crazy fears give it all good mind person rise strength stronger success take

The Unanticipated Comeback

This is the blog post I never thought I would write and the story I never thought I would tell. I’ve kept this blog pretty up-to-date in terms of how my season has been going- all the highs and the lows. Never in a million years did I expect to have to write an update like this.

Friday morning at practice, walking around the pool deck (from the hot tub to the 1 meters specifically), I slipped and rolled my foot. Everyone’s done it, rolled a little and flinched and kept walking. I didn’t even fall. But crap did that sting. And it kept stinging. And when I tried to do an hurdle, I couldn’t put weight on it. I tried to walk it off, before admitting defeat and terror walking into to see our athletic trainer. He looked at the marble sized bump that popped up on the side of my foot and told me to get dressed I was getting x-rays.

12 days before the Big Ten Championships, I had broken my foot. Right at the top of the fifth metatarsal.

I spent the rest of the day (after getting back from the sports med clinic) at the pool- icing, with my foot up, limping around cheering on our team at the last dual meet of the season which would have been the last dual meet of my college career. The rest of my weekend has been spent either in the athletic training room or on my couch- icing every two hours and doing research.

My coach and I talked briefly Friday when I came back from the x-rays, and we don’t know what is going to happen. The injury is day-by-day at this point. The number one things I can do right now is stay positive, ridiculously positive, and hope for the best. He told me to let it out- the pain, the frustration, and the anger, but not to despair. Now is not the time to despair. Have your hissy fit, hate the world, cry it out. But come in tomorrow, the athlete and the Lauren I know, and never ever ever give up. 

48 hours after breaking my foot I signed up for Big Tens, my full list, on all three boards. The goal this year was not only to make Big Ten Finals (which I talked about here), but to give it all I got. My coach thought I chance at winning. And now, despite all the positivity in the world, I will not get that chance. While I do plan on diving, I will not be 100% when I step on the board and that sucks. I might have to do a whole list standing. I might not be able to point my foot, or take off, or jump. After coming 9th back to back to back, I spent two years training for this meet. I red shirted for this meet. I was ready, dailed in, and feeling so good.

I will not get the chance to give this meet everything I have. That is a fact. The bone will not heal in less than two weeks. With that being said, that does not mean I am not going to try. My college career is not over. Even after Big Ten’s, NCAA Zones are three weeks later and I will still be giving it my all to qualify for the NCAA National Championships. I didn’t train for five years to be defined by this. This is not how things were supposed to end. And holy shit I am bound and determined that this is not the end of my season. I am not done.

I am disappointed, and furious, and not letting those two emotions take over has been the struggle of a lifetime. Despite the doctors and the X-rays and colors of my foot. I am not done.

In an effort to compile all the research I’ve done, I’ll be posting pretty regularly this week. Happy thoughts and positive vibes are much appreciated, as well as any tips and tricks for healing. Choose positivity today, and appreciate all the walking around you do!

{Weekly Words} Work Hard In Silence

You know those people who go to the gym, take a gazillion selfies, and blast them all over Instagram? Or the one who always complains about how hot and sweaty their run was in Twitter…this is for those people.

Whether this applies to fitness, studying, or just good habits like drinking water, loudly sharing your actions with the world does nothing to being you closer to your goals. Whether you put your five mile run on social media or not, it’s still a 5 mile run. It’s still an accomplishment. It’s still progress.

The number of times your feet hit the pavement is more important that the number of likes or shares you get. 100% of the time. Getting two dozens likes does not bring you closer to your goal. Getting the workout done does.

Work hard in silence, let success be your noise. Let your hard work show when the time is right. Put your nose to the grind and work your ass off for whatever it is that you want to accomplish in the world. Do not turn outwards for external validation that what you’re doing is “right” or “wrong” or what you “should” be doing. Do whatever the crap you want and what you put in will be what you out of it.

Find Week One here, Week Two here, Week Three here

Follow Lauren on Pinterest here

 

{Weekly Words} You Will Never Know

Uh, because who doesn’t love love inspirational quotes and diving boards. Duh.

This one is corny, but who cares. Inspirational quotes can be corny. I like love corny. And this could not be more applicable for my sport- you never know what’s going to happen. On a dive, on a recruiting trip, at a meet.

If you never even try to make a State Championship, you won’t. If you don’t try to make a National team, you won’t. If you never even attempt platform diving, you won’t be good at it.

Sometimes you smack in diving. You get bruises and black eyes, and sometimes you get shin splits and burnt cookies and all kinds of crap of that comes with trying new things. Something you’ll try time and time again, others you won’t. Some may be worth it, like that dive, and some maybe not.

It sounds like such a simply concept, but think of the last time you tried something new for the first time. You may NEVER know that you love Cross Fit or Zumba or kale until you give at least ONE shot.

What’s something you’ll take a chance on today? What about this week? Or even this year.

Find Week One here, Week Two here

Follow Lauren on Pinterest here